Moku seven and sieben (twice)

I have blogged before  about translations.

I venture again into this delicate minefield of language, interpretation, means and goal of translations. The question in these two translations is what is prevalent, what carries more weight. It is obvious that the original author of the moku favors the absolute priority of content, of meaning. That is understandable because some of us write poetry because it is the only way we can say what we need to convey. In translation I am convinced that whatever choices are made, the end-result should be a poem in the target-language.

MOKU NUMBER SEVEN

child gathering up seashells

unselfconscious manifesto of sublime abandon

auspicious tidings

 

*

Moku Nummer Sieben

ein Kind auf Sammlung nach Seemuscheln
unbefangen ist dieses Manifest von Aufgabe
Botschaften voll von Verheißung

*

Moku Nummer Sieben

Kind sammelt Seemuscheln
unbefangenes Manifest erhabener Entschlossenheit
verheißungsvolle Botschaft

*

Now what is the preferred version is the readers choice.

McLuhan wrote it a long time ago: the medium is the message. The poem and the fact of translating changes and creates new and interesting messages and perspectives on language.